Best of Redditor updates on the subreddit r/bestofredditorupdates are given in this article. Some of the wildest and interesting stories and updates are below.
1. My wedding is on the 25th, but now my fiancé says he isn’t sure if we should get married
I am not the OOP. OOP is u/ConsiderationCool140
My wedding is on the 25th, but now my fiancé says he isn’t sure if we should get married.
Originally posted to r/TrueOffMyChest
TRIGGER WARNING: probable gaslighting
MOOD SPOILER: disgust with fiancé, admiration for OOP
Original Post May 5, 2025
My wedding is supposed to happen 20 days from now. However, my fiancé says he is not sure if he can go through with it. I (F28) have tried to help him (M30) figure out if he’s just having normal pre-wedding nerves or cold feet, but he says he doesn’t know. He swears he’s not having an affair or hiding anything from me, but he isn’t sure if we should go through with the wedding. We have people coming from all over the province. But he’s second-guessing getting married, and I’m not even sure what to do.
We have been together for four years. We have lived together for two years and have been engaged for over a year. He’s never displayed any problems with commitment. I’ve never had to give him any ultimatums or push him along when it comes to moving forward in our relationship. Up until eight days ago, he was enthusiastic about our wedding and us looking for a house. We haven’t had any other big changes to our lives or any bad news recently, so I don’t know where his hesitation is coming from. No family problems either. Each of our families loves the other and is excited about the wedding. I love him, and this is scaring me because he won’t even tell me why he suddenly feels this way. The wedding is supposed to be on the 25th, and he’s refusing to let me in or help him figure out his feelings. I don’t even know what to do now.
Update July 31, 2025 (3 months later)
My update is that I didn’t get married, my relationship is over, and I’m blocking him and moving out tomorrow. I want to thank everyone who left supportive comments on my last post. They were appreciated.
Whenever I (F28) asked him (M30) if he thought it was cold feet, did something happen, etc., he always just said he didn’t know. We had guests driving in from all over the province, so the day after my post, I told everyone the wedding was postponed. Fortunately, anyone who isn’t local was able to cancel their hotel reservations without penalty, and everyone got a refund from what they bought off our registry. I would have felt horrible if any of our guests had lost money over this. I suggested we go to counselling to figure this out. He agreed but then on the day of our first appointment he said he was fine to get married and when we went to the appointment he told the therapist I “overreacted” by cancelling the wedding and blamed me for all the money we lost (the venue and all of our vendors had 30 day cancellation clauses and he didn’t start saying we shouldn’t get married until after the cancellation deadline). After how he acted at the appointment, I knew I couldn’t marry him. He was shocked when I refused to renew our lease together and said I was moving out. I try not to care what anyone thinks, but at least all of our family and friends think he was unreasonable and don’t blame me.
2. [Update] OOP discovers that her husband has a second family that he’s been keeping secret
I am not OOP. Please do not harass OOP.
Originally posted in r/relationship_advice by u/Throwra-brokenwife
1 Update – Short
Links:
Original – August 6, 2023
Update – August 28, 2023 (3 Weeks Later)
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Mood Spoilers: Infuriating but ultimately positive for OOP
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Original – August 6, 2023
My(41f) husband(52m) has a second family on the side
I’ve been sitting with this information for almost two weeks now, and I still don’t know how to proceed. My husband has been in what seems like a committed relationship with another woman, and he’s playing happy families with her and her three sons. They’re even planning on having a baby. A week ago, I stumbled on a TikTok account of this lady sharing her recipes, and in the background, I recognized my husband’s back. I wasn’t too sure at first but after taking a real good look and as his wife I know that fools neck, back, legs and the clothing he was wearing, so I went looking through her posted videos just to piece together a confirmation of it being my husband and I continued to keep an eye on him and his movements but he seemed normal.
It’s clear to me now that he has his cheating down to a science. Every time he went on his work trips, she’d post these videos saying she’s cooking a new recipe because her man is coming back from his work trip. She’d plate the food up and I’d recognized his grubby hands by their look and the way he’d hold the cutlery (he has a peculiar way of holding it, kind of looks like a neanderthal discovering forks and knives)
I can’t believe this bastard has been with her for three years. I don’t know how he found the time to start an entire relationship on the side. I thought we were happy. He tells me he loves me all the time. Always brings me a gift from his work trips. When he’s home, we have a great sex life and pretty much have sex four to six times a week. We talk all the time. We’ve been married for twenty-one years, and we have two daughters. We lost our eldest son 10 years ago, but we worked through it and got closer than ever before. We are even due to have our twenty-second anniversary, and it’s his turn to plan it (we alternate who plans the anniversary each year).
I know he’s been planning an elaborate party for us. So why is he cheating? I am so angry and don’t know what steps to take. I am utterly distraught. I thought we were happy. I thought he loved our little life.
I feel like I can’t think, and I barely know where to start. I can barely focus. What do I do and how do I do it? I love coming on here and reading things and giving advice, but now that it’s me, I feel like I can’t think. I nearly burned my kitchen down because I spaced out and forgot that I was cooking.
Relevant Comments:
Collect all the evidence, all of the videos, and a timeline of all of his “work trips”, contact a divorce lawyer, and hit him with divorce papers.
I’m normally of the approach that splits should be as amicable as possible, but this fucker has a whole second family… Be the definition of a woman scorned. – CrystalQueen3000
OOP’s Reply: I’ve been downloading all her TikToks and screenshotting everything she has posted on her Instagram. I have also been collecting all our bank statements, but I can’t find anything incriminating. At this point, I’m thinking he has a secondary bank account I don’t know of, and he’s probably having the post delivered at his office or at his mistress’s house.
I’m considering hiring a private investigator to do a deep dive since I can’t find any other evidence of his cheating.
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Update – August 28, 2023 (3 Weeks Later)
Firstly, thank you all for your kindness and for all the great advice you’ve given me. I am truly grateful! The past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions. I have been able to engage the services of a great divorce lawyer, and I was advised not to let my husband know that I knew of his affair.
I was then finally given the go-ahead a few days ago, and well, at first he refused to admit to anything, but I was prepared for that, and I showed him all the online posts his mistress made. I also showed him pictures taken by my investigator. He still denied it. Then accused me of being insane. Then, after hours of me just throwing evidence after evidence at him, he finally admitted to the affair.
He tried to twist things so that he could weasel and lie his way out of it, but I was relentless. I did not let him twist reality and make me doubt the plain truth. We argued all day and all night; it was exhausting.
The next morning, he tried to get on my good side because I woke up to him having made breakfast, and he was begging me not to hate him and to find it in my heart to forgive. I told him I could not and that I wanted a divorce. That brought on the waterworks, and he called me a heartless and unforgiving bitch. He then left to take his things to his parents’ house, as I had asked him to leave.
While he was at his parents I went to his mistress’s home. My sister went with me (she waited in the car), and well, she let me in and we talked. She wasn’t even surprised I was there (I had already suspected she was aware of him being a married man, but I still gave her the benefit of the doubt).
She was gloating when she told me about how in love he is with her, how good he is to her boys, and how he bought her the house, the car, and all the other money he spent on her. She then told me if I wasn’t such a lazy bitch and gold digger he wouldn’t have been so easily taken and how my lack of submission and servitude was the reason he cheated (how am I a lazy bitch when I’m the primary parent and homemaker is beyond me and how am I a golddigger I don’t understand as I work and earn more than him).
As she was flapping her gums, he arrived, and he was pissed off at her. (he was calling me a ton, and I had texted him that I was at the mistress’s house) They argued as he told her not to speak to me like that, and he in no uncertain terms told her that he wants to be with me, that she’s ruining his chance at saving his marriage.
I just thanked her for being forthcoming and continued to laugh my way out of the house because yes, my husband makes great money, but as his business partner, I own half of his business, and as his wife, I own half of all his other assets. So I am glad that she gloated and that she confirmed that he paid for most of what she has. Now I know for certain that neither he nor she deserves an ounce of my sympathy, and I will take back everything he ever gave her, and much more!
Relevant Comments:
Hire a forensic accountant ASAP. – Typical_Agency8984
OOP’s Reply: Oh, did that because I’m certain he used company finances to live extra lavishly.
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Marked as Concluded: There may be another update, but since OOP has started divorce proceedings, I think the conflict is mostly over.
I am not OOP. Please do not harass OOP.
3. AITA for refusing the opportunity to walk my sister down the aisle?
I am not OOP. OOP was u/ThrowRA_Climate_1817. His account has since been deleted. He posted in r/AmItheAsshole. Short read.
Fun fact to cover up spoilers: u/Lorem-Oopsum requested penguins and provided the fun facts! Penguins are found in the Southern Hemisphere (and polar bears only in the north, contrary to some Coca-Cola Christmas commercials & children’s book illustrations). 14 species of penguins live in temperate or warm climates, while only four species reside in the cold. A group of penguins in the water is called a raft, and on land, that group is called a waddle.
Trigger Warning: Verbal Abuse; death of a parent
Mood Spoiler: Justice is served
Original Post: February 27, 2023
My father passed away when I (m26) was 22 and my sister (f29) was 25. With this in mind, my sister, after getting engaged, asked me if I would do the honor of walking her down the aisle. At first, I was elated, and so I enthusiastically agreed. Then things quickly changed after my sister realized that my wife was pregnant.
In the preceding months, my sister made my wife’s life hell (who initially had been one of her bridesmaids, but was relatively recently informed that she would not be one). Originally, it was fine, but as my wife’s pregnancy became visible, my sister would at times taunt her and make rude comments towards her. During her bachelorette party (just a few days ago), she even yelled at her because she was ruining her fun by being too distracting and “not-drinking” (I kid you not). The ensuing onslaught resulted in my wife being removed as one of her bridesmaids. She even left my PREGNANT wife on the side of the road as my sister made her way to a party planned, in part, by my wife and in a limousine paid for by me.
This, coupled with the fact that she had asked me recently to ask my wife to stay at home, “because her pregnancy will take attention away from her on her special day”, just broke me. I called her up yesterday, after I found out what she said to my wife, and I told her that I would not be attending the wedding and that she would have to find someone else to walk her down the aisle.
That’s when the calls began. Everyone has been calling me, telling me that I am overreacting and that I am intentionally trying to sabotage her wedding. She even called to yell at me, and told me she had always hated “that bitch” while referring to my wife. I told her to fuck off, ofc. My mother has been extremely sympathetic towards my wife, and she agrees with me. My wife has been crying over this, and she has herself received an onslaught of messages.
I blocked all my relatives (except my mother, ofc) and am planning a trip to Disneyland for my wife and me on the day of my sister’s wedding (as I already booked the days off from work and Disney is where my wife and I went on our first date, when we lived in LA). This news has started its onslaught.
Nevertheless AITA?
Relevant Comment:
Someone asks how OOP could think he’s the asshole:
Honestly, two reasons:
- I am 90% sure I am NTA, but that 10% is still there, as my father’s death means that I do feel guilt for not walking her down the aisle
- If it goes the way of the 90%, I will send this to her as one last slight towards her.
OOP is resoundingly voted NTA
Update Post (Recovered with Wayback Machine): March 4, 2023 (5 days later)
Everyone has been asking for an update, so here it is.
So I unblocked my relatives (who had called me to convince me to walk my sister down the aisle) and sent them the post. Most apologized and didn’t know about how poorly my sister had treated my wife. A few even cancelled going to the wedding and were appalled at the fact that my sister decided to kick my pregnant wife out of the car and leave her on the side of the road. The groom didn’t care much and said that this is a personal family matter, which he shouldn’t involve himself in.
My mother is attending, but she has just adopted the attitude of “once I get this done, she’ll be out of my hair once and for all”.
Now, as for my sister, she was none too pleased when I sent her the post. She texted me a bunch (I had her blocked, so I didn’t receive anything). Then, this very morning, she shows up to my firm in New York (she doesn’t live too far, but I didn’t think she’d show up to my workplace). I sat her down and gave her a chance to explain herself (she refused to apologize). She tried to make herself seem like she was making the right decision by saying “she was just looking out for my wife and baby’s health”. To which I reminded her, how she tried to bully my PREGNANT wife into doing shots (my wife didn’t cave, ofc). Then she tried to guilt me. Saying it, our father would have disapproved of me trying to ruin her wedding if he were alive. She said, Blood is more important…which is ironic considering THIS IS ABOUT HER WEDDING. Then she got aggressive, telling me that I am “ruining her wedding” and proceeded to say horrific things about my wife.
Angered, I told her to get out of my office. And I told her to never come to my office or house again, or I’d get a restraining order.
She left, cursing me and my wife out.
Also, we’re still going to Disneyland!
4. A Cake Eater discovers that his wife has also been eating cake
This is a repost, I’m not the OP, etc. Thank you to u/JadieBear2113 for leading me down this rabbit hole!
Trigger Warning: There are no actual cakes in this post.
r/CakeEater is a sub for cake eaters. Not chocolate cake or cheesecake or any regular sort of cake, but people who “want to have their cake and eat it too” – who are in a happy marriage and not planning on leaving, but still have an affair, just because.
u/Miserable_Ad_7975 was a Cake Eater who had been having an affair with his AP (Affair Partner) for 6 years. Eventually, his AP’s husband cottoned on and filed for a divorce. Worried that his wife would find out, he consulted r/adultery on how best to confess about 10 months ago.
There was one post before these three, but it was deleted before Reddit could archive it.
First post: Calm before the storm – https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/ms0s4r/calm_before_the_storm/
Tried posting a few days ago but could not find the post. Must be lost in cyberspace. Don´t even know if this is the right forum at the moment. In gist: Affair partner got served divorce papers out of nowhere two days ago at work. Her husband knows of us/me. It´s only a matter of time before my wife finds out. Don´t know if I have days or hours before the world as I know it is gone.
Took some time off work to spend time with my wife and two daughters. My body is in turmoil, but strangely, my mind is clear. It reminds me of the days leading up to my dad’s passing away. Time has slowed down, and I am aware of all the things surrounding me. It´s a nice feeling. My day today was filled with observation of details and appreciation. My wife’s smell and the clothes she wore, my daughters’ laughter, the color of the kitchen tiles, the dog, the yard. Feel blessed to have a healthy and beautiful family. What will my daughters think of me? I look at my wife, whom I love with all my heart, and I see a woman who stood by me no matter what. We had our fair share of ups and downs like most couples, but I never imagined a life without her. How do I justify a six-year affair? Is that even forgivable?
I don´t know what the future holds. All I know is that the storm is coming, and I am here basking in the sun until the clouds come rolling in. I plan to confess over the weekend. Even if I know the outcome, I pray she does not leave me. This was so fucking not worth it.
Any suggestions on how to confess? How do you start? What do I tell my daughters? I have already made an appointment with a therapist. What else can I do?
Wish me luck!
EDIT: Thank you all for your comments and suggestions. Some of them were hard to read. I don’t have time to address all comments, but will reply to a few to clear some things. Yesterday I reached out to my brother for advice. He left his wife some years ago and married his affair partner. He seemed happy with her. The grass is not greener for him after all, and he is planning on leaving her, but is stuck at the moment. His advice is to not tell my wife and to minimize if confronted. He also said I should let down AP gently so she does not go nuclear on my wife and family. I am hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.
In the comments, people doubt that Miserable_Ad loved his wife. He DID cheat on her for 6 years and all. He responds:
I am not confused. Never was. I don´t have a problem separating love from sex. My heart is loyal to my woman, and she is it for me.
So many responses about how I don’t value my affair partner. Well, since I am on a pour-my-heart-out roll here, let me tell you about my affair partner. She is a gorgeous and smart woman who is funny and open to different experiences. She is younger than I self and my wife. Fit. Seductive. Sexy as fuck. But she is not my wife and does not even compare.
Six years on/off is a long time to invest. As I see it, she is an adult woman who decided to cheat with a married man on her husband for whatever reason. Do I care for her? Yes, six years is a long time. Do I love her? No. Did I say to her I loved her? Yes, of course I did, but I lied just as I lied to my wife. Did I use her? Yes, I did. Did she use me? Of course she fucking did. We both knew we were playing with fire.
The reason I strayed has nothing to do with my wife. We have a good sex life in general, but I do have some kinks that she is not into at all. My affair partner was into the same kinks. That´s how we met, and that is why the affair was ongoing for six years. What led me to start the affair was my wife being in an accident that took a toll on her body. Sex was off the table for over a year. I gave in to temptation, and when I discovered the affair partner shared my kink, I was hooked. So all you people saying my wife was withholding sex and intimacy. No. My wife and I are very intimate. Having sex with my wife is making love. Sex with an affair partner is just sex. My wife meets 90% of all my needs. My affair partner meets 10 %.
He gets conflicting advice on whether or not to tell his wife. Most commenters tell him to come clean, but a few don’t, including his brother in real life.
His next post is in the aforementioned CakeEater sub, and it quickly becomes obvious that he did not come clean.
First Update: Never saw this coming – https://www.reddit.com/r/Cakeeater/comments/ph3bxg/never_saw_this_comming/
Throwaway. Posted once before. Check it for background. Think this is the sub I should be on.
I was prepared for all scenarios but not this one.
The doom day did not come in the shape I was expecting. AP ended up convincing her STBEX not to spill the beans to my wife in exchange for a smooth divorce. I thought I was in the clear.
Yesterday, AP sent me a blurry photo of my wife in the car with another man. She claimed they walked hand in hand to his car from a store in a nearby town to ours. She got a shot of the plates too. After some digging, I now know she is having an affair. Don´t know how long for sure, but at least 6 months. He is a single dad our age and is telling her to leave the marriage. She is telling him she loves him.
Afraid to confront her. Feel numb at the moment. Took a day off work. Any advice? I love her and want to stay married.
EDIT: Any advice on how to proceed? Should I just let it run its course and monitor? Should I confront and hope for the best? Should I confess to my affair and hope we all can come clean and make way for a new marriage? I am so fucking utterly confused! I have rehearsed the things I would say and do if she were to find out about MY affairs. I was not prepared for this shit!
He manages to get a hold of his wife’s phone while she’s in the sauna and confirms the affair over WhatsApp.
Logically, yes, we are both getting our itches scratched. What’s the big deal?
I am not ruled by logic at this moment. Maybe later, but now my emotions are overpowering every logic. Never in my life have I experienced this type of emotional and physical distress. I can´t even think straight. Never thought I was gonna bowl my eyes out and throw up on the carpet.
I am desperate to talk this out to know why this happened and how invested she is in this piece of shit. If she is doing this out of revenge, maybe I have a chance, cause if so, she does feel something for me at least. I can´t imagine her being emotionless, throwing away over 20 years. I know this woman like I know myself. Deep down, she´s hurt, but also so very stubborn and proud. I just want to know if she knew about my affair. Why the hell did she not confront me? I would have chosen her over AP in a nanosecond. And what the hell is she hoping to find with this dush? He is no better than I, sleeping with a married woman. Ah fuck! I am trying to respect her wish to have some space, but I am desperate, desperate, desperate to just talk to her.
Yeah, I don´t know how I feel about being on the other side. Never had fantasies about my wife fucking other men. We had a good sex life, minus my kinks she was not aware of (hence the LTAP). I am thinking, what do I have to lose? There can be only two outcomes. She loves him, she leaves. She loves me, she stays. I am hoping this is just a fling and nothing serious.
Some of the commenters offer sympathy, but most opt for schadenfreude.
Second Update: UPDATE Never saw this coming – https://www.reddit.com/r/Cakeeater/comments/pkbju1/update_never_saw_this_comming/
My marriage seems to be over.
Confronted my wife this past weekend. Sat her down without warning and told her I knew she was having an affair and with whom. Asked her if she loved him and what her plan was.
She was caught off guard. Went to the bathroom for ten minutes. When she came out, she looked me straight in the eyes and said, “I know about your affair too. I have known for some time now. I love him and want a divorce”.
The next days were a blur. I tried to talk to her, but she shuts me down. She has moved into the spare bedroom and is making appointments with law firms. Has told our two girls. I have signed up for emergency therapy. Am on meds for dealing with anxiety and lack of sleep. This is surreal. Heard her talk to him last night and cut the internet cord. Kind of crazy cause I need fucking internet for work, and she just switched to her phone. Ahh man! So many emotions are running through me.
I made love to her last week, and today she is a total stranger. How does this happen? How can she not feel ANY fucking emotion? Over 20 years GONE. All the love, friendship, partnership, intimacy, jokes, memories, and plans for our future are gone. JUST LIKE THAT. NO LOOKING BACK.
Feel so blindsided, and the only person I can talk to is my brother, who lives across the country. Sorry to vent here to you fine people on here. Just need to get this out.
He gets his ass handed to him in the comments, more or less, but I wanted to call out this comment in particular by u/Key_Zucchini9764:
“Made love to her last week…How does she not feel any emotion?”
This is simple; she has learned how to separate love and sex. She has sex with you but loves her AP. You taught her well.
Conclusion
Hope you enjoyed these stories. For more stories like these, keep checking these updates; you’ll enjoy them. Thanks!